Take Back Your Time: 4 Strategies to Say No When The Ask is Too Much

Finance pros always have a lot going on. It comes with the territory.

So you sometimes need to say no to demands for your time.

Many people respect that. A few don’t.

You Say No, They Don’t Back Down

Whether it’s an unnecessarily needy employee, an over-demanding boss or a challenging colleague, they want more of your time and resources than you can afford.

So when you’re faced with stubborn persistence, you might cave in. You feel like you can’t tell them no and you end up overbooked and stressed.

But you can’t be everything to everyone. You can say no with confidence when you recognize the tactics people often use to get you to say yes.

We have the most common tactics here — plus ways you might still be able to help them and get credit for it even when you’ve actually said no!

Trick 1: The Favor

How it works: They might imply, “I’ll help you if you help me.” It’s a demand for time that sounds like a favor and usually persuades us to say yes. After all, when someone asks, “Could you do me a favor?” most of us don’t say, “Nope.”

They might offer you a favor first before asking. Or, they’ll bring up a time when you asked them for a favor and they granted it.

Fight it: Don’t let them guilt you. Before you think “I should say yes,” take the time to calculate whether you can really do it. Ask when you’re needed for the extra work. If you’ve got room, great. If you don’t, offer a sincere apology, but still give them a firm no. You might even avoid guilt by suggesting that you’ll make it up to them in the future. Try: “I’d love to help, but I’m booked. If you give me more notice next time, maybe I can fit it on my calendar.”

Trick 2: The Double-Ask

How it works: You say no, and they follow up with, “If you can’t do that, could you do this?” The person sometimes bets that if you say no to one thing, you’ll say yes to something smaller.

Their trick often works because it gives them the opportunity to get agreement on something. The problem for you is, you agree to option two because it requires less time than option one but you don’t have time for either.

Fight it: Avoid sharing too much information about your free time. Instead, be a little vague: “Let me check…when would I be needed?” This forces the asker to give you specifics so you can make a decision that’s more comfortable for you. And even if the timing is OK, say no if the amount of time is too much.

Trick 3: Anchoring

How it works: Instead of asking you to do something, they just assume you’ll do it and jump to the next step. For example, “So how many hours can I get from you on this project?” They might even guilt you with some peer pressure, saying, “Most other VPs pledged six hours; can I get you to give me four?”

This trick never gives you time to actually consider if you have enough bandwidth to take on another project or workload.

Fight it: Don’t get caught by surprise. Have this phrase ready to deflect the suggestion: “Please don’t put me down yet; that week might be full. I’ll let you know.”

Trick 4: Flattery

How it works: When you take the lead on anything, everyone knows you give 100%. So people — especially your boss — often demand your time in a way that’s impossible to refuse by laying on the flattery: “You’re the best manager we’ve got for this initiative.” It plays on your sense of pride. But when people tell you you’re great, it’s more than a pat on the back –- it’s a subtle arm-twist for time you don’t have.

Fight it: Work out a deal. Here’s where your natural leadership skills come in. If you don’t have time to devote to work you previously led the effort on, admit it. Explain your workload or schedule changed. Then … delegate. Offer to train someone to take over. This way, your “No, I can’t this time,” turns into a contribution. “But I’ll teach someone else the ropes.”

Saying no to people who never seem to hear it involves tact, diplomacy and a bit of savvy. Do it wisely, and you’ll manage to protect your time and avoid making enemies.