Disagreements are at the heart of destruction in any industry. But disagreements in finance threaten to hurt business, books and people.
The good news: If you know the value of handling disagreements favorably nothing is at risk. In fact, disagreements among finance pros — or other professionals you work with closely — can lead to better things.
Disagreements without Being Disagreeable
It’s true that people can disagree without being disagreeable.
For instance, can you imagine dinner conversations at the table of husband and wife, Democratic political consultant James Carville and Republican political consultant Mary Matalin? Probably as spicy as the chili. But they’re skilled at disagreements, so the outcome is as mild as the cornbread.
Still, with the intense turmoil on the national political landscape, now’s likely a good time to look at, hone in on or improve the soft skills that make a difference when it comes to handling workplace disagreements.
And we aren’t just talking about disagreements that come about when you’re working on budgets and reports. These tips are critical in navigating the halls of work where conversations can go south quickly.
The Caveat
But first, remember: Soft skills aren’t always about being soft. Well-meaning leaders in finance can face acrid disagreements with employees and colleagues who don’t always have the highest of intentions. So you must stand your ground.
But being fair and tactful in these situations is the hallmark of good leadership.
Here are six keys to arguing well and moving forward in a positive direction:
1. Find Middle Ground
It may be an overused expression, but it’s true. Diplomatic leaders find one thing to agree on, such as a statement of fact – a date, place or time that something occurred, a company value or shared experience. Anything.
Then saying something like, “We agree that … ” sets the stage for more discussion and agreement down the road.
2. Be Polite, Stay Polite
You don’t have to be friends with people, but it pays to be cordial. You attract more bees with honey than with vinegar.
Here’s the best part — your hidden secret: When leaders are polite during disagreements, others will likely mirror their behavior. In most difficult workplace discussions, the leader who holds their posture garners respect, and usually gains ground, too.
3. Stay Cool
Composure, composure, composure. It takes practice. Getting louder never resolves issues faster. It only makes for a noisier, more complicated disagreement.
To make a point, repeat it using different language.
For instance: “If we want to meet the deadline, we have to put in the extra hours now, rather than later.” Or “The best option is to work extra hours now, not next week.” Stick to the points.
4. Don’t Escalate
You probably know how to push other people’s buttons. (And don’t question it: They know how to push yours!)
Avoid that temptation. One reason is that some people can push a button with a huge smile on their face, which makes matters even worse. Another reason is you don’t know how hot some people can get when their buttons are pushed.
You might disagree about the work, but don’t make it personal.
5. Don’t Take the Bait
On the flip side, people will try to get under your skin. The best thing to do is ignore them or call them on it.
For instance, “It’s difficult to find a solution to our issue when you question my intentions. Let’s stay on track by focusing on the issue and a solution, not emotions.”
Then restate the issue – again!
6. Don’t Create Emotional Hurdles
Often people don’t see their faults until others point them out – and they’re still unlikely to own up to them.
So forget asking others to apologize for poor behavior. Speak your peace and leave it at that. Then focus on what can be done to fix the problem at hand.
