The 13 worst-ever nonpayment excuses!

Few people would want to swap jobs with collectors … especially these days. These real-life examples aren’t likely to change any minds.

With cash scarcer, debtors are getting craftier (and sometimes much more brazen) about preserving their cash flow at the expense of yours. And while some excuses are legit, others are downright crazy.

We’ve collected 13 of the most off-the-wall reasons actually given to finance staffers. Let’s hope you’ve never been told any whoppers like these:

1. “You didn’t get paid this month because your payment date fell on a Saturday.”
2. “Your check was the biggest – so it didn’t get signed. You’ll have to wait another week!”
3. “I know I owe you some money, but you haven’t been chasing me hard enough for it.”
4. “It’s not a valid debt as my vindictive ex-wife ran off with the company credit card.”
5. “Keep complaining about where your check is and we won’t pay you for another month.”
6. “You didn’t backdate your invoice so the accounts took another 30 days credit.”
7. “You won’t be paid until you have completed the defect liability period works.” (This was one month away from the end of the period and a year after the work was completed.)
8. “My wife has been kidnapped and I need the money to get her back.”
9. “You used white paper clips. The accounts department didn’t see the paper clip and so didn’t notice that the invoice was stuck to the back of the letter.”
10. “All names get put in a hat. If your company’s is pulled out, we pay you this week. If not, you stay in the hat until next week.”
11. “We moved offices and lost our company checkbook.”
12. “I just got back from my luxury holiday, it cost more than I thought so I no longer have the funds to pay.”
13. “The sole check signer had his dog in the office and the dog had knocked his false teeth out of the window so he had gone to the dentist.”

Ever heard a wild payment excuse that belongs on this list? Share it here.