6 Things You Don’t Want to Say at Work

Even the best finance pros face times when they have difficult things they don’t want to say to their team, boss or clients.

And they struggle with how to approach the difficult subject.

Think of the last time you had a message for your team and, rather than just say it, you found yourself going over and over the exact words you wanted to use. Or what about the time you needed to tell the boss something she probably didn’t want to hear, so you avoided her longer than necessary?

Good News About Saying What You Don’t Want to Say

Now, here’s the good news: The reason something might be hard to say has more to do with overthinking the meaning behind it than finding the words to use.

So whether it’s fessing up to something you don’t want to admit or telling someone something that will disappoint or upset them, you can say things you don’t want to say.

Here are six of the more difficult things to say when you work in Finance – and tips on how to communicate them with ease:

1. ‘I Changed My Mind’

What’s so bad about this one? For finance pros, it could mean you didn’t think through an initial decision, and you fear it’s going to make you sound unsure or flaky.

But it’s easier to say if you give your team enough details on why you’re revisiting a decision. And be honest: Let them know if your new plan will affect them and how.

Rephrase: “I’ve given the matter some thought and think we’d be better off going with Plan B, not Plan A, as I’d originally announced.”

2. ‘I Am Really Disappointed’

Finance pros know it’s difficult to tell the team or an employee they’ve underperformed at something. It’s tempting to gloss over the bad stuff with an “it’s all good” to cushion the blow – as much for yourself as for the others.

But sometimes, you need to let it hit the fan to bring home the importance of what happened. While there’s value in seeing the bright side, expressing disappointment may be the only way to right the ship, says Kris Boesch, CEO and founder of Choose People.

“If it’s always ‘all good,’ then there’s nothing to change, fix or shift,” says Boesch. “Which, if you think about it from a team’s perspective, is concerning. If the boat is sinking and ‘it’s all good,’ we’re all going to drown while our leader is in a state of denial.”

It’s okay to harness some negative emotions to galvanize your team and motivate them toward action. It gives you a chance to look things over and really evaluate.

Then recommit after disappointment and relay that to your team: “Well, we came up short this time. But we’ve at least got some starting points to learn from in the future.”

3. ‘I’m Not Sure This Is Working’

What you could really be telling an employee: “I’m not sure you’re working,” but you don’t want to say it outright. So leaders resort to the vague “this” to disguise the real problem: An employee just isn’t working out well at the job.

It’s a hard thing to say – but the consequences of not saying it could be worse: poor-fit employees end up floundering in the position, doing neither themselves nor the finance department any good.

The key to bringing up this hard subject is to be armed with specifics: facts and real-life examples that support your opinion that you can present to the employee. Otherwise, it just sounds like you’re being critical for no reason.

If you have to start this uncomfortable conversation, try: “Let’s talk about your comfort level with the job and possibly reevaluating your position.”

4. ‘I’m Sorry’

It’s hard to say you’re sorry – for just about anything – without looking vulnerable.

So face that fact, then break down what exactly you need to apologize for.

It’s important because you don’t want to overdo an apology. But you don’t want to under-do it either.

Planning what you intend to say also helps you focus on why you’re apologizing. Was it a result of a misunderstanding? Did you make a hasty move that resulted in harm?

You want to include that in your response – not as an excuse, but to show an understanding of what happened and why.

You also want the recipient of your apology to see you don’t want it to happen again. Say, “I must have misunderstood your plan, which is why I didn’t present it; I’m really sorry about that.”

5. ‘I Screwed Up’

Good finance pros own up to mistakes. But it’s still hard to tell your team – or worse, your boss – you goofed.

Depending on the size of your screw-up, a sheepish “my bad” probably won’t cut it. While you don’t want to overstate the mistake, the important thing here is not to downplay your error entirely.

If you do, it’ll come across like you don’t take your mistakes as seriously as others’ mistakes.

When you realize there’s a problem because of your dumb move – either directly or indirectly – own up to what you did to cause it and express a desire to resolve it.

But as with “I’m sorry,” also put this one in perspective. Targeting your exact mistake can help you tell yourself what you did wrong so you can avoid it later: “I miscalculated how long it would take us to get our initial phase up and running, which is why the second phase is running behind schedule.”

6. ‘I’m Out of New Ideas’

There’s nothing wrong with a finance leader admitting they’re tapped out. Sometimes, the creative juices just aren’t flowing.

But it’s still difficult to admit to others. All the great new approaches are supposed to come from you – that’s why you’re paid the big bucks!

But telling others that you’ve run out of fresh takes makes the point that their input is just as valuable as yours. And it can spur them into being more creative knowing you don’t think you have a better idea.

Try this: “Gang, we need an idea for a new initiative, and all my concepts have been done before. Let’s put our heads together.”