3 Questions To Ask Before Dealing With a Difficult Person

Every finance leader has to deal with (at least) one difficult person.

Whether it’s an employee, colleague, client or vendor, there are difficult people. And they come in all shapes and sizes: the know-it-all, the chronic complainer, the whiner, the passive-aggressive person.

You will likely always have to deal with them, so short of ignoring, what can you do?

Analyzing the Difficult Person Conundrum

First, let’s stipulate that everyone is difficult from time to time. Now, consider this: Could “being difficult” just be in the eye of the beholder?

A truly difficult person can suck the life out of a project, the team or an entire organization. They aren’t occasional offenders and they should be dealt with through your normal HR protocols.

But what about the others — the people who are seemingly difficult some of the time?

Here are some questions to ask yourself when it comes to dealing with people who can be difficult, but aren’t destroying things.

The answers should help you decide how much effort you need to put into “fixing” the situation. (Note: You can only fix the situation. You won’t be able to “fix” the person.)

1. Is This Person Really Causing a Problem?

That’s a real question, and here’s why: Some people can be irritating, but they still get the job done and don’t infringe on the work of others. You (or others around you) just find them irritating.

For example, there’s the guy in the last cubicle who chews gum and blows bubbles. He doesn’t make awful noises, and he doesn’t stick the gum to the underside of his desk like a school kid. So, in reality, those two things aren’t an issue.

But … there are a few people near him who can’t stand watching a grown man blow big, pink and grape bubbles. So one day they complain about it.

What should a leader do? Who is causing this problem? The guy with the gum? Unless gum is banned, it’s more likely a personal problem for the people who think it’s egregious for a grown man to blow bubbles.

Bottom line is: They are free to own those feelings — and they don’t need to project them onto the bubble-blowing co-worker.

2. Is This Person Consistently Difficult?

Everyone has their bad days and anybody can be difficult from time to time. Normally, we just write those off as having a bad day. So the caution here is to avoid overreacting.

A difficult person’s behavior should happen more times than not, or enough that it’s truly caused a problem. Like it or not, consistently difficult people are hard to miss.

3. Is There a Consensus?

Of course, you don’t want to go out and take a vote on whether someone in your midst is difficult and needs to be dealt with. But it’s a good idea to get out into the workplace, listen and learn whether others are seeing this “difficult person” in the same light you may be.

The common denominator is that the person is impacting how the job is getting done. When that is the case, then the cause of the problem is almost always a behavior.

They are doing something that disrupts the workflow, whether it’s choking off discussion during a meeting, being rude with customers, hoarding information or delaying progress. In the toughest cases, they are just being themselves when they do these things.

That’s when it’s time to step in and try to change the behavior. (Remember again, you won’t change the person.)

If leaders fail to address these sorts of situations, the workplace can only grow more toxic.