Butting Heads? 5 Tips to Work With People You Clash With

Differences on the job can drive good finance leaders bananas.

It’s difficult to walk into work knowing you have to deal with employees, colleagues or even bosses who you clash with.

You don’t want to butt heads. And you don’t want to give in to their whims every time.

Reality of People You Clash With

But here’s the reality: You’re never going to change that one employee, colleague or boss you clash with. Even if you try to avoid interaction, you likely won’t be able to. So difficult conversations will persist with your nemesis … if you let them.

Instead, you can try these techniques to put you and your “opposite” on the same page.

Here, we give you examples of how you might clash, but the techniques for settling differences can work under almost any circumstances.

Example 1: You’re Detail-Oriented; Your Employee Isn’t

When you ask for an update on a project, you expect a rundown of what’s completed, what’s pending and any problems. But your employee responds with “it’s going well, halfway done, no problems yet.”

Your employee may not know where you’re going with your request, so he gives you the least amount of info possible so as not to incriminate himself. Or, he genuinely doesn’t know how much detail you want.

Fix: The best way to get details from a non-detail-oriented employee is to ask for the numbers you desire. Provide a small outline with the details you are seeking: “I’d like to know where you are so far in these areas of the project and where we are with these exact quotas.” This way, your employee will know you expect more details than he’s inclined to give.

Example 2: You’re A Self-Starter; Your Employee is a Procrastinator

As soon as a new project or task hits your desk, you’re on it. Jumping right in assures you’ll get everything done and ahead of schedule!

So why can’t everyone work like that?

Some employees procrastinate and sit on the tasks they’re given because they’re trying to decide the best approach or aren’t sure where to begin.

This “opposite” trait can cause managers angst because it obviously affects how work gets done. But it’s important that managers resist projecting their own work style onto employees and instead cultivate how to use this to an advantage.

Fix: If you know your employee works best under self-imposed pressure, use gentle prodding to get him started. Provide a rundown of what’s expected to get done and be clear about necessary timelines. Also, give the employee as much information as he needs to get started: “Here are a few examples of how we approached this proposal in the past; maybe they can trigger ideas.”

Then, back off. Allow the employee to work at his own pace, but encourage him to ask questions and to keep you apprised of his progress.

Example 3: You’re Private; Your Co-Worker Shares Everything

When you ask a colleague, “How was your day?” you might be genuinely interested in your co-worker, but you usually don’t expect a tedious recital of every single event and interaction.

But good people respect colleagues as people, not robots. So they’re responsive when someone at work mentions a recent vacation, a family member’s illness or grief about how their car just died on the ride to work.

Fix: Even if you wouldn’t share what you consider personal or private info, you might have to hear it once in a while. The best maneuver for these opposites is to gently interrupt. At the first pause, offer concern, sympathy or interest. Reiterate a point made so the co-worker knows you’re not just nodding: “I’d heard good things about the cruise you mentioned; it’s too bad you had a disappointing experience.” Most of the time, this lets the over-sharer know you’ve been listening and will prompt them to wrap it up.

Example 4: You’re Laid-Back; Your Boss is Hyper

It’s a leadership trait often exaggerated for comedic benefit: The tired, stressed mid-level boss is challenged just to keep up with the high-level, go-getter energy of a C-suite boss.

But it’s often true: What do you do when your boss is bouncing from one directive to another with speed worthy of the Road Runner?

Obviously, good executives appreciate leaders with energy and drive. But if you’re more laid-back than your boss, it can be exhausting just trying to keep up with them!

Fix: The best approach to this opposite is to ensure the boss is well-informed. If a full plate motivates her, then pass along information to quench her thirst for activity. Ask her for input on your ideas and concerns so she knows you and your finance team are active and engaged.

5. You’re a Talker; You’re Counterpart is Quiet

Most managers naturally want to give and get insight from their counterparts within the organization. You can strategize and sometimes sympathize with each other.

But when you can’t get much more than a nod from a colleague who could be a great ally, it can be disheartening and a little off-putting.

Fix: The best move is to give the quiet ones more time to get comfortable with you and the ways you can help each other. Just because they’re not blabbermouths doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate your efforts to collaborate and aren’t taking in what you’re saying.

Avoid rambling or going off-point too much when talking about work things, and offer a gentle nudge to get them to open up: “I’ve explained a lot of the issues we’re facing in Finance. Do you have any similar situations you’d like to share with me to possibly help me find solutions?”

Finally, don’t immediately mistake their silence for disinterest. Make sure that when they do speak up, you give them equal attention.