3 Hardest Words for Leaders to Say (and How to Get Over It)

What are the three hardest words for any leader to say?

If you’re thinking, I don’t know, guess what? You nailed it.

Most leaders in and outside of Finance are afraid that if they say “I don’t know,” they will sound unprepared, naïve, or worse – incompetent.

But “I don’t know” (and its cousin, “I’m not sure”) are actually three of the strongest words good finance leaders can use.

When said in the right manner, those words project both confidence and intelligence.

Why the Words Are So Hard to Say

Stephen Dubner and Stephen Levitt, authors of the behavioral economics book Freakonomics, say leaders of all kinds feel they’re expected to know every answer to every question all the time.

After all, it’s why they’re in a leadership role, right?

But saying “I don’t know” actually takes more courage than trying to hide behind excuses, the authors argue. It also opens us up to learning experiences and can work in favor of leaders like you.

“Simply saying [it] isn’t a solution,” Dubner says. “You have to figure out what you don’t know  –  and then work like a dog to learn.”

The Right Follow-Up

Saying “I don’t know” with credibility involves a bit of context, so you can provide the person or people asking questions an understanding of why you’re telling them what you don’t know.

But it’s more than just bluffing or trying to impress someone. It shows you “actually care about the outcome and the truth,” Levitt says.

The right move is to show that you’re dedicated to finding the answer, solving the problem, providing the right information or sending them in the right direction.

One way is to emphasize your willingness to help. Try these responses:

• “That’s a good question, but I don’t want to give you a half answer. Let me get back to you,” or
• “Let me tell you what I do know, and what I’m still learning.”

Let’s explore options a little deeper here. Try using these phrases or similar ones to follow up on an “I don’t know …”

‘… But I will find out.’

You’re admitting you don’t have the answer immediately when asked a question. It shows others that you’re not afraid to appear vulnerable, and it reinforces the notion that you’re confident you can find the right information or solution.

‘… So let’s put our heads together.’

When faced with questions, good leaders make sure the people they work with can help them come up with the right answers.

Enlisting the smart people on your team to come up with solutions gets them engaged and helps you succeed when you tap them for opinions or draw on their expertise.

‘… But I’ll ask someone who does.’

Good leaders get that there are others who know things they don’t, and rather than compete with them, they succeed by listening to and learning from them.

This response also shows you’re open to other ideas and perspectives and aren’t threatened when someone else has a better answer than you do.

‘… So let me think about what we did last time.’

Experience is a great teacher, especially when you’re faced with a problem you can’t figure out.

It’s smart to look into your own past or ask others in similar situations what worked for them when faced with the same type of problem.

‘… Why don’t we try this instead?’

Sometimes, not having an answer is a blessing in disguise.

It forces us to start from the ground up, rather than relying too heavily on past information that could be outdated.

Knowledge is beneficial, but it can also make us blind to the nuances of a current problem.

It’s good to second-guess your understanding once in a while to make sure you’re on your toes.

The Bottom Line

Leaders who can’t admit they “don’t know” often lose respect. They risk making a bad situation worse.

People who respect your leadership will also respect you when you admit you don’t have the answer to every question.