6 Positive Ways to Deal With Confrontation at Work

Some people naturally want confrontation. It’s just how they roll.

And most leaders want to avoid confrontation — especially in Finance where so much is on the line all the time.

Confrontation at All Levels

Nearly a third of all conflict in the workplace happens between management levels. And confrontation among senior leaders and executives accounts for 20% of all reported incidents, according to a study by the Workplace Peace Institute.

While that’s important to know, finance pros will be most interested in this — the real cost of confrontation at work: Employers lose as much as $3,217 per employee each year in productivity because of conflict in the workplace, the researchers found.

Help from Sales

Here’s the good news: You can navigate confrontation better with tips from your revenue generators. Salespeople are probably the most adept at dealing with combative people.

They hear the complaints about products or services (whether it’s their fault or not), so they come to expect some level of confrontation with almost every encounter.

They’re prepared, so they know how to respond. You can try these tips from seasoned salespeople the next time you face a confrontational person:

1. Assume a Positive Intent

Often, people who seem confrontational are actually trying to be helpful. They just express themselves in unpleasant, off-putting ways.

Good salespeople know never to take this personally.

If we simply criticize their approach and don’t acknowledge their positive intent, they are likely to feel their concerns and opinions are unwelcome.

And once they get this message, they’ll start to care less about contributing in the future. They’ll have less emotional investment, whether they work with you or for you. Thus, it’s important to recognize their perspective – even if they don’t communicate it well.

To diffuse the tone, try countering with an affirmative statement: “I know you’re trying to be helpful by saying that…” or “I imagine that you’re trying to save us from something you believe won’t work…”

2. Be Polite … to an Extent

Keep a calm, polite tone – but don’t go overboard or you might look too timid.

Successful salespeople know they need to put a little emphasis on their politeness to get the attention of prospects – AND to fight off the competition.

The fine line is to sound firm and assured without sounding angry or aggressive. Keep disdain or annoyance out of your voice.

Use a response like this: “I get your complaints, but allow me the opportunity to address them so I can give you firm answers.”

3. Explain What You’re Not Saying

This helps prevent possible misunderstandings from the get-go and prevents the other person from becoming defensive.

Too often, people get confrontational because they misread the message or don’t grasp what the point was. They may think you’re insulting them when that wasn’t your intent at all.

It’s appropriate to clarify exactly what you mean. Just make sure you don’t sound like a third-grade teacher. You don’t want to give them the idea that you think they’re dense or obtuse.

For example, use: “I want to make my point clear so we’re on the same page.”

4. Clarify What They Really Want

When someone becomes confrontational about their contributions or ideas, you have to make sure you correctly read their reasoning.

Ask them to share what their need or goal is. Salespeople know intuitively that prospects might not realize their true needs, and might talk around it with explanations that make sense to them but aren’t necessarily based on facts.

Even if the person’s explanation to justify why they’re combative isn’t reality-based, talking helps put it on the table and allows you to discuss productive ways to meet or satisfy their need.

Example questions include: “Where are you going with this?” or “So, what were you thinking when you asked that?” or “When you say _____, what do you hope that will accomplish?”

5. Ask for Their Perspective

They may understand what you’re saying, but still see it very differently. If they disagree with your perception or assessment, how invested do you think they’ll be in helping you solve a problem?

Think of a time someone defined a situation in a way you disagreed with and didn’t ask for or listen to your perspective. Made you angry and resentful, right?

Salespeople know that if they jump the gun and propose solutions too quickly, they could miss the mark and lose the sale. Many managers want to jump to a solution first when they encounter confrontation because they think it will quickly get rid of the problem.

But this often isn’t effective, because what you think is the obvious solution might not be.

Example approaches: “Do you know what I mean?” or “Do you know what I mean by _________?” or “So, what’s your take on this?”

6. Thank Them for Speaking Up

Thank combative people for being combative? Yes! Remember, these employees can actually add value to your team or department.

They’re willing to stir the pot and put challenges out there, which can only help you and everyone else consider all the possibilities in any situation.