4 Things You Never Say to Stressed Finance Employees

Do you have stressed employees in finance?

With looming deadlines every quarter, some annoying co-workers, ever-changing working conditions, and mounting personal problems, the answer is likely YES!

There are a lot of reasons to be stressed – and nearly 50% of all people say the majority of their stress comes from work, according to research from The American Institute for Stress.

Stressed Employees Don’t Want to Hear This

But when employee stress bubbles up, many bosses’ first reaction to it is to say, “Calm down.”

That’s not helpful. Instead, it’s better to help them deal with what’s causing the stress and manage the situation better.

Try these research-proven tactics to help employees in stressful times.

Know What Not to Say

Some common reactions to overwhelmed people often backfire. They can’t immediately see a way out of the stressful situation, so words meant to calm them can do the exact opposite.

That’s why it’s important to avoid using clichés or phrases that minimize their feelings. Skip these five:

• “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” It’s just not true! You don’t have to be tough to deal with stress – or run from it. Resilience helps, but so does a good support system at work.
• “You think that’s tough? I once had to …” One-upmanship only puts stressed people in a deeper hole. The focus needs to be on them, not your triumph over a bad time.
• “Don’t worry about it.” Any phrase that minimizes their feelings – “That’s nothing” or “Get over it” – makes people feel small, and the stressful situation feels bigger.
• “If you had just done this …, you might not be in this situation.” Help them see solutions, not the reasons for the predicament.
• “Oh, it’s just awful. I can’t imagine. What else happened?” No one needs lengthy commiseration. Recognize the emotions they shared and move forward.

Lessen Stress in the Moment

As a finance leader, you can’t fully alleviate employees’ stress. The goal is to lessen it in the moment.

From there, you can help them curb stress going forward by giving them some tools to manage it.

“Helping someone think differently about a stressful situation is likely to work,” says Holly Weeks, a communications expert and author of Failure to Communicate. “Pick something manageable and help.”

Try these approaches:

1. Pose the Question

You don’t have to offer solutions right away. In fact, stressed people are likely to reject them because they’re already overwhelmed by information and demands.

Instead, ask, “What would help?” Then stay silent for at least 15 seconds. That quiet, steady moment and calm attention often gives them time to change their focus from what’s stressing them to what might help.

What’s more, people often know what to do next or the solution to their issues, but they’re reluctant to say them out loud. Silence often forces it out – and then you can both pan out potential solutions.

2. Reassure Them

The right, reassuring words work when you start talking about solutions.

Say:

• “You can handle this. I’ve seen you …,”
• “You’ve overcome similar obstacles, if you recall …,” or
• “You will get through this. Remember when you …”

Then remind them of specific, difficult situations they overcame and the success they orchestrated.

3. Introduce a Paradox

Stress creates tunnel vision. People only see what’s negative.

Don’t point out what’s wrong with their negative point of view. Instead, help them see that the negative view can coincide with something positive.

For instance, “I see you’re stressed about the project’s tight deadline, and you can still meet it if you stay on the pace you’ve already set.”