How to Disagree With Your Boss And Maintain a Good Relationship

Your boss has a really good idea – at least she thinks so – and you disagree with it. Awkward, isn’t it?

On the one hand, you owe it to your company and any stakeholders to point out the problems. On the other hand, you don’t want to hurt a good relationship.

Fortunately, you can disagree with the boss – or anyone – when necessary and still maintain the relationship, plus accomplish goals, with these six Harvard Business Review-proven strategies.

1. Think About It First

Don’t just blurt out your point of view. Sure, it might seem timely to say it right away. But a well-thought-out opinion is almost always a better argument than a timely one.

So be strategic. Think it through and ask yourself:

• Why do I disagree?
• Could the disagreement be perceived as self-focused?
• Do I have the good of the organization at heart?

Ideally, you don’t have any personal gain from winning the argument.

2. Make Sure You Get It Right

Follow this old journalism rule: Get it first. But get it right first.

Pull your facts together, recognizing that your boss may have access to more information than you do.

If you even suspect you’re missing something, couch your argument by saying something like, “I think there’s another way to look at this. Before I present my ideas, can you tell me of any other critical facts I don’t know?”

3. Test Your Idea on Trusted Colleagues

Bounce your point of view – including the facts you know – off a few trusted colleagues. If you can’t convince them it’s a better idea, you probably won’t be able to convince your boss.

So get feedback on your idea and on ways to be more persuasive. Encourage them to poke holes in your theory and ask questions they think any executive would have.

And don’t ask your direct reports to chime in. They may not want to disagree with you and likely won’t give the candid feedback you need.

4. Offer an Expert

Get a respected, credible expert to go over your conclusions before you take your idea to the boss. Then offer to have him or her review it with your boss after you present it.

It doesn’t have to be an outside consultant. It should be a person recognized within your company or among your mutual network as an expert on the topic.

5. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

Pull together data, charts, spreadsheets and any other hard evidence you can to support your point of view. Leave out hypotheticals and anecdotes.

Disagreeing with a boss is the time for your most professional approach.

6. Talk to One of the Boss’s Friends

People trust their friends, particularly those who are at the same level as them.

Find someone who is your boss’ friend and at the same level as your boss, and use your data to convince him or her of the merit behind your idea. Ask him or her to back your idea.

That’s not to suggest you pull rank or gang up on your boss. You just want to find genuine support from someone who can address it in a friendly manner, too. And if you can’t find an ally, consider bagging the opposition because your ideas might be better anyway.